I Am the Intimidator - I Am the Intimidator

Angry Metal Guy 60

Many music genres (metal, in particular) do love a good concept album. Be it a horror story, Star Trek and Lords of the Rings smut, or the tribulations of Spawn, metal bands (and their fans) can’t seem to get enough. You think you’ve heard and seen it all until you delve into the one-off absurdity of I Am the Intimidator. Never in my life did I expect to be reviewing a self-titled release whose concept has coined the term “NASCAR Metal” in the festering halls of AMG. Not because I’m a follower of a sport where cars have no headlights, drivers involuntarily veer into oncoming traffic due to always turning left,¹ and whose spectators are probably the sole reason Bud Light sales have dropped. No, I picked up what could be a literal car wreck of an album because no one else would. Plus, how can we not review NASCAR metal?

Let me set the stage for I Am the Intimidator. Even if you know nothing about the sport, you’d have to have been born in a cave not to have heard of Dale Earnhardt, Sr. Unaffectionately known as “Ironhead,” “The Man in Black,” and “The Intimidator,” Earnhardt was a racing legend back in the Winston Cup Series (which was succeeded by the NASCAR Cup Series). For 26 years, his #3 car was easily the most iconic one on the track. In 2001, as with every year, the Daytona 500 kicked off the season. In the final turn of the final lap, The Intimidator hit the wall, fractured his skull, and instantly died. This album, ladies and gents, is the final day of Earnhardt’s life.

I AM THE INTIMIDATOR by I AM THE INTIMIDATOR

This bizarre concept album was conceived and perpetrated by Andrew Stromstad (Atriarch, Poison Idea), a longtime fan of Dale Earnhardt. To begin, he lurches us into a heavy-metal instrumental montage of sound clips from The Intimidator. Then, hurdles us into the follow-up track, “Gasoline.” And, goddamn, was I surprised when the vocals rose to Dio-esque levels in this old-school chugger. When we hit the repetitive “gotta pump the gasoline, motherfucker,” the song takes on some Ministry qualities that make me want to hump a tailpipe. As the song progresses, the guitars reach higher and higher, ripping through solo after impressive solo.

The title track impresses even further with its old-school, speed metal vibes. As it charges headlong, the vocals alternate between gruff cleans and soaring highs, building the intensity with each passing moment. Then, it calms to a rumbling bass before the guitars and drums begin a new build. As it climbs, the backing Iron Maiden-esque vocals and swirling guitar leads put hands to the fanny, lifting this beauty to the blinding track lights. Closer “Crying from the Abyss” is similar in approach, borrowing heavily from old-school riffage as it marches with a mid-paced character. For most of the track, the vocals stay in step with the instrumentation, adding emphasis to each downstroke. Then, it takes off, backed by clean and harsh vocals before the ’50s-era guitar solos force this little ditty over the finish line.

I Am the Intimidator is equally pleasing and bizarre in almost every single way. Be it the wild diversity throughout these six tracks or the concept itself, I can’t help but smile and cringe simultaneously. From the jaw-dropping weirdness of “Regrets” to the out-of-place Old Man’s Child rasps in “Eat My Smoke,” my mind can’t confirm if this little project is pure genius or a complete joke. That said, I kinda like it. And the fact that it’s this dynamic makes it easy on the ears when played on repeat. This record might be one of the strangest things I’ve ever reviewed and you won’t believe it until you hear it.

Rating: 3.0/5.0
DR: 12 | Format Reviewed: 320 kb/s mp3
Label: Miserable Pyre
Websites: iamtheintimidator.bandcamp.com
Releases Worldwide: March 8th, 2024

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