Fuckhammer - Scorched Earth Prophets

Angry Metal Guy

Ha, what a stupid name, I think to myself. Even I can tell they’re trying too hard with that one. I close my browser and go upstairs to get ready for bed. Fuckhammer. I hear the name in my head as I brush my teeth. That was weird, I think to myself. I go to work the next day, type something wrong, and start smashing the Backspace key. Hammering it, in fact. Like a Fuckhammer. Fuck, I think to myself. Get out of my head. I go home and eat chips in the kitchen while my wife cuts vegetables for dinner. The knife slips. “Fuck!” she says. “Hammer,” I whisper to myself. “What?” she asks. But I’m lost in my own head. Stop lying to yourself, Mark. You know what you have to do. And it’s true. I toss the chips on the counter, sprint to my laptop, and open the promo bin faster than a fifteen-year-old pulling up PornHub after his parents have left to run some errands. I have to claim Fuckhammer as my own. I NEED THE FUCKHAMMER.

Only, what I got wasn’t quite the nasty thrash-death-black mix I expected. Formed in 2011, this Irish quartet play a rancid concoction of sludge and death metal, complete with phlegmy rasps that sound like the vocalist is the kind of guy who eats his own scabs. Over the years, the group have put out a few minor releases and one prior album, 2013’s Fucked. With Scorched Earth Prophets, the group’s core sound has more or less stayed the same. Most of these twelve tracks are built on mid-paced rhythms and beefy, grunting riffs that carry plenty of Southern-style groove. Yet the band also throw in some odder stuff, with lots of these songs having those weird pseudo-dissonant notes that remind me of what a mid-2010s metalcore band might play right before a breakdown. “Impartial Agenda” also strays from the path, complementing its sludge-centric approach with creaky lead guitar that makes it sound like the band booked a cheap flight to the slums of New Orleans and never came home.

Fuckhammer do offer some decent stuff here. The opening almost-title-track “Scorched Earth Profits” works well enough with its chugging riffs and peppy rhythms. Likewise, “Hangman’s Fracture” has a quick guitar line that carries some odd Eastern flair, and closer “Irregularities” has a slow winding riff that staggers forward like a drunkard on Bourbon Street. The catchy chugs and brief black metal foray in “Passage to the Afterworld” are also pretty enjoyable, but the best song here is easily “Curse of the Crimson Altar.” The track unleashes plenty of groove, incorporates intriguing samples in which two guys talk about the occult, and unloads some big thumping stop-start riffs that are sure to get your gut flabs flopping.

Unfortunately, there’s a lot that stops me from getting excited about Fuckhammer. The vocals are suitably repulsive but grow monotonous, and many of these songs either pass by without note or don’t quite stick the landing. “Unmerciful Sisters,” for instance, sounds like the band wrote half a song and called it good, while “Vexillogical Fixation” feels like it ends too abruptly. While “Brain Turbulence” mixes things up with its crusty approach and faster tempo, moments like that still aren’t enough to blow your hair back. The real problem with Scorched Earth Prophets, though, is a lack of character. Fuckhammer certainly know how to build a decent song and write a catchy riff, but the group simply feel far too nondescript and safe, especially for the sound they seem to be going for. Music like this begs for an unrefined, no-fucks-given approach. Yet here, the performances are largely tight and polished, and the clean, boomy production carries none of the grit an album like this needs.

When I see a name like Fuckhammer, I want fucking FILTH. I want to feel like listening to them will give me an STD that hasn’t even been discovered yet. But rather than getting too dirty, Scorched Earth Prophets simply offers a decent little collection of twelve songs that are respectable but not remarkable. Fuckhammer seem like a cool bunch, and Scorched Earth Prophets is worth a listen for those interested in exploring the lands where death and sludge don’t differ. For the rest, maybe just stick to Eyehategod and bathtub liquor the next time you need your fix of filth.



Rating: 2.5/5.0
DR: 3 | Format Reviewed: V2 mp3
Label: Self-Released
Websites: fuckhammer.bandcamp.com | facebook.com/f666hammer
Releases Worldwide: August 9th, 2024

The post Fuckhammer – Scorched Earth Prophets Review appeared first on Angry Metal Guy.